Here's a quote from Vincent Van Gogh that I cut out of an article and posted on my wall years ago: "If you hear a voice within you saying 'You are not a painter,' then by all means paint ... and that voice will be silenced."

I have that same quote from Van Gogh as my very favorite and have used it as a signature line.... I would like to recommend a very good book called "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw. He has some exercises that you can do to help silence those negative voices --- he says we have about 25,000 hours of negative thoughts that go through our heads. He explains in the beginning of the book that normal healthy shame leads to changes that are positive in our lives, but toxic shame is the feeling that you are flawed as a person and therefore no change is possible. He explains that healthy shame acknowledges our limitations and not having this leads to an unquestioning mind and lack of wonder and is a creative block. Life is about expansion and growing, about love, goodness, caring for others, truth and beauty and about commiting ourselves to reality. Those 25,000 hours of negatives are far away from reality and truth and need to be corrected.

If the world sees an outgoing extrovert, pleasant amicable and friendly with a manic sense of humour the person on the inside does not necessarily see the same thing. Self-esteem is a strange hunted beast and needs tender loving care and continuous attention.

The trouble with workshops for low self esteem artists is that they are suddenly thrust into an environment where evaluation and comparison takes place. Comparing themselves to others, often unfavorably, is difficult to take and the LSE person goes down further. Struggling on your own is the preferable route.

Who doesn't suffer from low self esteem? As you mentioned sometimes it's outside influence but equally responsible is our own belief system about ourselves. We have lost the fundamental understanding that we are valuable. We believe a lie either manufactured by our own minds or conveyed by society. Do artists suffer more from this malady than others,? I don't know. If we stake our esteem on what we do, how we perform,what others say about us,then we're in deep trouble. We will always fall short in someones eyes in a world of competition and comparison. We cannot expect this reality to change so we must believe in Someone greater than ourselves who created us and declared his handiwork as very good. He is the source of our artistic gifts,inclinations, ideas. High self esteem comes from truth not falsehood, or flattery. Down deep we can tell if our work is pretty lousey and needs lots of adjustments. Sweet talk to make an artist feel "good about themselves" is basically dishonest and helps perpetuate this lse malady. Honesty/truth is like using a plumbline that establishs a true vertical in order to place things in their proper spot. What/who we trust has a lot to do with our mental well-being. Community is great because it can help a searching , lost soul find an answer through conversation, etc. I don't dare trust myself solely to clearly see accurately what needs adjustment either in my art or my life. Friends help, but more importantly , it's God who keeps my perspective straight.

Self Esteem and the Artist
I can’t deny that lack of self esteem is a crippling disorder. With sadness I reflect often on the confusion with which Vincent Van Gogh struggled and eventually succumbed. Yet to identify an individual’s low self esteem exclusively with one’s artistic efforts may be naïve. The diagnosis and prescription may be less emotional and more practical. An artist must ask for and be willing to listen to another artist’s comments and recommendations, or use a viewer’s observations to make adjustments. An artist will benefit by acquiring marketing tips, and promotional writing skills, and social contacts within the art community and finally developing some realistic objectives for one’s art.

Irena wrote: If we stake our esteem on what we do, how we perform,what others say about us,then we're in deep trouble. We will always fall short in someone's eyes in a world of competition and comparison.
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That's very true, and the problem starts when we feel, for whatever reason, that we have no worth beyond what others think of us. Artists face a lot of competition, but we create for ourselves primarily, and are our own judges.
I've fought with depression since the age of seven. Art was the only thing in my life that I had any control over, and I could do or say anything I want in a painting. It's still that way to a large extent. Sure it's frustrating when art doesn't come out the way you want, but no one else can stop you or take over your painting. Only lack of skill, time, materials or confidence can stop you -- and you get more skilled the more you paint. Art is all about seeing the worth and beauty in everything in the world. "Everything" includes you.

I began painting in my retirement, knowing that as a new learner, I would not get the esteem boosters I had in my career as a creative and enthusiastic French teacher. Creating a new "growing edge" and no longer feeling ease in my endeavors was an intentional decision, when I took my first painting class. However, after three years, I do feel discouraged as a painter/learner. Do you think that confidence and ability will come, even though I can't afford to enroll in an art school? Any advice? How do I get through my present discouragement?

Madeline B

I suffer from low self-esteem in everything but art. It comes to my art when I think about the framing/marketing part sometimes. But art has been my play, my study, my appreciation. The best of me. And about honesty: unto yourself only. Don't need to be so honest to others. But be honest with yourself. Sometimes your work sucks. Sometimes you just miss the mark. Sometimes it's really really good and nobody sees it but you. I have a piece I don't plan to ever sell because nobody's ever liked it, but i love it. I'm getting old and having to deal with self-esteem issues AGAIN, like a teenager, is a bother. But all Robert says is right. Some defeating events lately are making me look for places to volunteer, groups to haunt, events to join, just to get my face off the ground. I hope all of you enjoy your art more than you ever worry about its worth.

Madeline, maybe you've chosen the wrong medium or set your standards too high to be able to just enjoy what you do. Try using the book The Artist's Way to get where you want to be. I never took any painting classes and was quite pleased with much of my early stuff. It is about what you expect from yourself. Your goal may be just around the next corner.

Self esteem is built on accomplishment and it doesn't have to be exclusively in art. If we are capable in other endeavors, we take that confidence into the studio - such as being a good cook, a skilled carpenter, or a having a green thumb in our garden. You get used to doing for yourself and doing it well. "I can do that."

The only difference with art is thinking we have arrived at our maximum skill at some point in time .... that this is as good as it is going to get. That is the one lie we need to toss. Art is a life time aspiration. We should aim at accumulating a solid body of work.

Do we remember Edith Head for one gown she created or the whole of her remarkable career in film costuming? Every writer, film maker, musician, and artist will have failures. It comes with the calling and I recognize that.

I have quite a few canvases stuck up in my attic. Not everything we paint is worthy of framing and hanging, or certainly selling. As long as we are progressing the work has served its purpose.

Lone diligence in applying our craft can't be emphasized enough. Self confidence will come as we develop our skill. And don't be surprised if that takes decades.

I have been fighting this debilitating condition for decades, even though I am a professional art educator and also seem to have success selling my work,I always have major panic attacks before an opening and really hate showing my work to people for fear of criticism. For years I locked myself away in my studio struggling with paintings I thought were horrific and wasted hundreds of hours and many dollars worth of materials by destroying half finished work. I'm now in my fifties and am just finally starting to appreciate my talent(?). It's comforting to know other artists battle the same demons.

Work ... work ... work ... When my confidence starts slipping I know I have missed a few days or more of my practice of art. Whether from other priorities needing my attention, or (ashamed to say) a bit of laziness, I am out of THE ZONE. It's amazing how I get the subtle but real feeling of being very unsure of myself. Then my creative self knocks me over the head and gets my attention. The sooner I can get back to work, the faster I feel like an artist again.

Also, when a mentor shows, by constructive criticism of a work of mine, that he or she takes me seriously as an artist, that also gives me a feeling of worth. To be ignored or passed over is the worst let- down.

When another artist is discouraged and looks to me for an opinion, I honestly find a part of the other artist's work that is good, and point it out to him or her. Then, I encourage the artist to develop that feature. When my own confidence slips I have to recall my own words and use them on myself.

One more aid I reach for during times of doubt: since I believe in God as the supreme creator, I make a simple request to God to get me back on track. I usually works.

I have mentioned before how art therapy has helped me. Since recovering art basics that I learned so many years ago, the world is my oyster, so to speak. It does not matter if the viewer appreciates my art. Creating art is a personal matter for me - a good feeling that keeps me content, happy and focused. With that said, the years have passed since art therapy brought me back to my passion, and tackling new types of art is a fun challenge.

When my husband and I walked through our wooded meadows a few years ago, we decided that my husband, the writer, and I, the illustrator/artist, could produce a series of fun, fiction children's books.

Watching the critters antics, we snapped photos of some critters and the wooded and open areas of our lovely Misty Meadows to create our first children's book. This book introduces small children to light forensic science and "mouse tales" relate information about critter behavior. There are blank pages for children to create their very own drawings. This book will be a prized possession as the child matures and he/she can look back at their very own drawings with a smile.

The hurdles we encountered and conquered: For my husband, Jim, it was a task to reduce his polished formal writing to "childrens' vocabulary." That took team effort from both of us. For me, the illustrator, I wanted the critters to be whimsical so I had to stretch my imagination to produce the cartoon-like critters. Not an easy task. Then, the backgrounds for each illustrated page became monotonous. That is where the camera came in handy for the shoots of various parts of the actual Misty Meadows. Once the critter drawings were accomplished, and with the help of Corel Photoshop Pro 12, I placed the drawn critters on downloaded pictures, backgrounds, of the meadows and erased around the critters , now rosters or vectors, with my stylus pen.

The creation of our first children's book was a labor of love and passion for not only our critters but the Arts. With combined efforts, the book became a reality. Then, the actual test to see if children of all economic family conditions would be able to follow the story line with the illustrations leading them through the book to the very end. The feedback was wonderful and some changes were made. Professional proofing was accomplished and this book is now available on our website, Atlas Books and Amazon.com

http://www.mistymeadowspreserve.com

Robert, I do not intend this article to be a 'sales pitch.' My intent is to share a story with you about two artists, in their individual art capacities, who have decided not to waste their golden years complaining about aches and pains; and, how art therapy has changed my outlook on life in general.

Thank you for your twice weekly news. I do enjoy each article very much. Having saved nearly all newsletters, I can refer to them when I want some information or simply to enjoy the art world through many artist's contributions.

As you can see, I am now happily remarried and enjoying life and art.

We all have our journey.
Sometimes what seems like a series of damaged events can only fuel our creativity later in life.
I know that being an artist has come to define me. It has also made me my absolute self.
But when I was a boy, I was diagnosed with a "Learning disability", tough when you are only 8 and wondering what you did wrong.
I was and still am terribly dyslexic. Try as I may, classes like mathematics was like learning an alien language!
Having the last name Ferrie didn't help and I was horribly bullied, picked on a teased.
I failed grade 3 and instead of having the chance to be good at something, I was always sent off to remedial reading or to talk to a councellor while everyone was doing arts and crafts.
The trajectory of my life changed forever when in Grade 7, I discovered something called the art department.
It was like Nirvana for me and I spent a great deal of time there.
I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life and I not only sharpened my artistic skills, I grew some armour.
Suddenly, I was good at something!
I know now, that was then and this is now.
Of course, if I knew then what I know now, life might have been easier.
Who ever knows in those formative years that we can actually grow self esteem.
But we can...

My best friend's brother had low self-esteem. It started at a very early age when neighborhood kids ridiculed him about something quite meaningless in the bigger picture, but he took it to heart, and suffered from it his entire life. He was smart and had a good sense of humor once you got to know him and he trusted you. But, he never married, had very few friends and was basically a loner. Very sad.

I'm not sure what advice I can offer. Perhaps the book Robert suggests is a good place to start. But I do know that without acceptence of one's situation there is little hope of ever solving any personal problem. Realizing what the difficulty is and knowing what might have caused it is a relief, and it can bring great joy and happiness. But, it is only the beginning of the journey. It is important to never give up, because old habits are hard to break, you will need to revisit and acknowledge and ACCEPT what is taking place over and over and over again. There is no other way. Constant attention to what is happening outwardly and inwardly is essential. And gradually, you'll become more and more aware of what is taking place, and when you notice that you've 'fallen-off-the-wagon', so to speak, you just get back on, and each 'ride' will get longer and longer and longer.

We all have moments when we feel inadequate or not-worthy or stupid. It comes with the territory. But these moments are all things we can learn from. I don't know about you, but the lessons I've learned from messing-up or from failures or from the dump things I've said and done, or from my own short-comings have always provided longer lasting and more profound lessons than the things I've succeeded in.

We all come into the world with 'something'. And life enchances or messes with that which we have been given. Our task is learn from our experiences and to do the best we know how. To pay attention to what is taking place and take our best educated guess, and then watch what happens. Without attention to what is taking place in the outer world of our surroundings, and in the inner world of our thoughts and feelings and beliefs, and accepting what is taking place, there is little hope of living a reasonably peaceful and happy life. We may not always like what is going on in the world or with us personally, but there it is. So, what can we learn from it?

Thanks again for another good article. I used to feel that only gay men would be acknowledged as world class artists. Or that only extroverted types got the shows and the press. But I don't worry about these things being stacked against me anymore. I'll admit that I had stage fright and LSE and besides my plate was full with motherhood and I was disorganized in my professionalism. I have observed that successful people are not discovered but do all they can to get where they want to go. I don't blame gay men for holding me back or crowding me out anymore, rather I salute their networking and creating support for one another. I find many American women are too competitive to help one another or in my case, reticent to even try.
The issue that bothers me now is that I want to contribute to the tremendous cultural changes coming now with the advent of Maitreya and Sai Baba with the Ascended Masters working behind the scenes to improve the quality of life to every human in the world and to save the earth herself.
Art is supposed to be able to express these things but I don't want to do illustrations or propaganda posters for this. It has to be heartfelt I think. I am not selling anybody anything. I just want to celebrate our being human. The Beingness. Just not sure where to go from here with the visuals....

A few things come to mind:

"Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present"
and
"What other people think of you is none of your business"

I have no idea the orgins but food for thought.

Recently I leased a studio/gallery space in my city where there are 35 working artists. Once a month the public is invited to tour all open studios,and these evenings are well-attended. This kind of atmosphere is a healthy one for me because not only am I now part of an artist's community---but I get a lot of visitors and a considerable amount of positive feedback. Mostly I've believed in my work---though there have been "fallow" periods, of course--- but when you work in relative isolation it's hard to know whether you're getting across. Since art sales are way down in this slowed economy (all the artists vouch for this) , the gallery where I had exhibited (and sold) a few pieces now and then was no longer a good measuring stick for me. Now, in my own space, I hang what I want when I want, and with every wall occupied, anyone who comes in can see the range and continuity of my work in a way that was not possible before. I've come to realize that there are always people who just don't know what to say when they look at your work--even friends, or visitors to your home---which is why it's a pretty good thing to hear comments from strangers, who are going to be more objective, and often quite articulate. I have an email list to announce the open studio nights, and a guest book. I feel "validated" as an artist, and my self-esteem has never been better. Sales is a different matter---but I've only been in the space a couple months, so it's too early to feel discouraged about that. But the possibility of making many new contacts and getting a wider audience is quite stimulating, and there is always the potential for sales. I realize that not everyone has the means to rent a studio space, (though there are some at the lower end of the $ scale, like mine, and other artists share spaces) and this is the first time I've done it-- a luxury that I can afford because I am now retired and do not need to make a living with my painting---but just getting accepted was a huge boost, and it's one way for an artist to "belong." It seems that many progressive, arts-conscious cities now have such spaces for artists to rent , and with galleries closing, perhaps it's a "wave of the future." And if I end up a "failure," that is, not selling my work, I'll at least know that I was "out there," and making the effort. And that's an esteem booster too.

Dear Robert,
We all have our journey.
Sometimes what seems like a series of damaged events can only fuel our creativity later in life.
I know that being an artist has come to define me. It has also made me my absolute self.
But when I was a boy, I was diagnosed with a "Learning disability", tough when you are only 8 and wondering what you did wrong.
I was and still am terribly dyslexic. Try as I may, classes like mathematics was like learning an alien language!
Having the last name Ferrie didn't help and I was horribly bullied, picked on a teased.
I failed grade 3 and instead of having the chance to be good at something, I was always sent off to remedial reading or to talk to a councillor while everyone was doing arts and crafts.
The trajectory of my life changed forever when in Grade 7, I discovered something called the art department.
It was like Nirvana for me and I spent a great deal of time there.
I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life and I not only sharpened my artistic skills, I grew some armour.
Suddenly, I was good at something!
I know now, that was then and this is now.
Of course, if I knew then what I know now, life might have been easier.
Who ever knows in those formative years that we can actually grow self esteem.
But we can...
John Ferrie

I often remember what Ken Auster said to students in a workshop years ago. "If you think your work is good and others think it's bad, it's bad. If you think your work is bad and others think it's good, it's good"! Think always helps me when I find I cannot stop thinking about a work I've done. I do what I can and then finally put it away for a while. I have felt like my artist's ego is much weaker than the rest of my ego, but recently I am feeling much stronger with the technique part of oil painting and with that I can feel my artist's ego getting stronger. The process continues.

It would certainly be nice to JUST PAINT. To let go the worries of being "good enough". The feeling my art must be sellable and-or liked be others to be real.
I'd love to paint like my three year old grand daughter I'm visiting right now. She is excited just to see the bright colors, and she loves purple the best, go onto the page!
She has painted only twice in her life.
I brought the paints with me. We talked about it on the phone for weeks before I arrived and the next morning after I arrived I set her up to paint. She was sooo excited. She said, "I'm gonna paint all day." She painted for at least and hour, which I thought was pretty good for someone who turned three in June!
The paints we started using then were watercolors, which required cleaning of the brush before changing colors. Well, that didn't last long, I mean she's three. She was happy with the experience, but not me. She, of course, ended up with all paints as black!
So...then I found some paints in pots that can't spill and a brush that's more like a pen, and easy to clean! This time she actually cleaned her brush between colors! The colors were brighter! She was delighted, squealing now and then as she made little lines or twirls of color on the paper.
THAT'S HOW I WANNA FEEL WHEN I PAINT!
Who needs self esteem for that? Self isn't important, just the experience of painting.

Some people confuse having self esteem with overweening egotism. Thinking you're okay is not the same as taking license for agressive assertion. Just thought I'd throw that out.

Is there a difference between LSE and humility?

Hmm. Commentary has hit east to west with this letter. I think part of the problem may be there is no clearly defined goal to our individual quest in our art.

What do you wish to accomplish? A living? Fame and fortune? To be the best artist you can be? To impart a profound thought or philosophy? Regular sales to validate your ability? To master your discipline? A means to work through personal issues?

Once we establish what our artistic goals truly are our self esteem will stabilize. You might have actually met your goals but haven't recognized it.

I decided I wanted relevance. I've reached that goal regardless of how much I sell, who praises my work or who dismisses it. They don't matter. There is tremendous liberty in that.

quite agree, these letters are such a help.Just to know that others get the same feeling and get beyond them

I must be the only one among you who has realized the lovely truth: I've said/done all I wish to do in paint...in all humility, I have no voice. And, I am not troubled by the realization. Happy to move on. This "truth" has liberated me, and might just be what some of you need to "see", to save you from the torment of LSE, etc. Good luck to all who "do" and all who "don't". Cheers from Australia, www.viviansartworks.com Gallery Diversity

Anna hamness. Yes, there is a huge difference. LSE is an unfortunate weekness of a character that tortures the owner and everyone who get's in touch with them. Humility is a strength that enriches people.

Pel Handelbaum, I agree with you. Dealing with agressive LSEs is a horrible thing, especially if they have any sort of power over other people.

I have been painting all my life with some manner of success.
I feel I could have been much more productive than I have been due to a life-long problem of depression. I have never heard the term LSE. My psychiatric diagnosis is "major depression." Van Gogh was thought to have been bi-polar/manic-depressive. Some of these comments sound so glib, like "low self-esteem" is something you can just fix by following a few steps, or "getting over yourself."
Someone who suffers from LSE should be wary of such suggestions, especially if she is suffering from something more organic or serious.
LSE may be the presenting symptom of something that needs to be treated by a professional.

"Some people confuse having self esteem with overweening egotism. Thinking you're okay is not the same as taking license for agressive assertion. Just thought I'd throw that out."
Pel, this sounds really smart, but since I'm not, what does this mean? Not intending to be rude, I just really don't get what you're trying to say?
What I was trying to say was:
My lack of confidence in my work stops me from enjoying doing it; causes me to worry too much and sometimes stops me from trying.
Watching my little grand daughter I thought "why" do I worry so much. It's not necessary, since I'm not trying to make a living, or wow the world, only paint a respectable piece and enjoy the process.